Home away from home

5th August was the day, I was leaving my favorite city to tail my dreams and start a new chapter of my life. I remember not shedding a single tear because I knew this was going to be my outlet for freedom. I wanted to live on my own, be independent, decorate my room according to my taste, travel, smoke without any fear and owe no explanation to anybody for my behavior. I was excited. The first few days were exhausting, I had to clean the whole apartment, buy stuff for my “new house” and the most dreadful thing – plan my finances. In my initial days, I spent money recklessly. I traveled around, went on a shopping spree, dined at expensive restaurants and what not. And one fine day, I realized that my credit bill was four digits and in this new found “freedom” I had spent money more than I should have. I had to take up an on-campus job to pay my bills but even money wasn’t enough. That is when it struck me – Independence was not about roaming around freely in the night or eating butter chicken for breakfast. It was paying electricity bills, buying groceries, buying things that are within the budget. It’s already March and I am yet to file my taxes and I don’t even know how much money has been deducted from my salary for all these things. If this was not enough, you have pressure to get a job, score well in your exams, manage your relationship and your social life. At times, I just felt like going home to my mom and sleeping on her lap. I don’t think this feeling is ever going to go away now. It’s all part of growing up and finally taking control of your life. That is when I realized that every day you are going to have some struggle going on but your friends are the ones who are going to make this journey memorable. I am lucky to have one best friend a bus ride away and other one a phone call away. I don’t think I would have survived without my therapists and if not them I had my wine!!!
There was a time where I panicked over which coffee filter to buy. Walmart has so many options and I felt completely lost in the shelves. There have been so many instances where I have picked up the phone to ask something so trivial like which movie should I watch today? Or what do I wear? And not once have I heard my friends say SERIOUSLY, you called up for this? I always got honest opinions about everything. From weighing the pros and cons of dating a guy to talking about Trump and Obama, we have done everything. These 2 guys are my everything.
I think wherever I settle, as long as these two are with me I will be able to withstand any tornado coming my way. Isn’t that what home is? A place where you feel safe, your getaway from the world, the place that gives you peace. It doesn’t matter if I am 40, crying about my children or whining about the economy, as long as I have my friends to talk to, I still have my home!

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