Finding Chandler

Since childhood I have been a big believer of terms like “happily ever after“, “forever together“. With time I realized that things change, our definitions change and we grow out of the set standards. I have experienced love and hatred in all my relationships but one thing I have learnt is to never give up on love.

Whenever I watch the starting seasons of FRIENDS, I admire the kind of love Monica and Richard had for each other. After their breakup she was miserable. She couldn’t eat, sleep or work. With parents continuously judging her every action and a successful brother who kept getting married every season, she had lost hope and ended up sleeping with her best friend. Little did she know that this impulsive decision would lead her to find something that was always there in her life – her soulmate. Chandler gave all of us major relationship goals. He took care of Monica, handled her tantrums, managed her bossy nature and loved her unconditionally. They both matured with each other and turned their partners weakness into their strengths.

But the thing that I keep wondering is if its possible to fall in love more than once? Remember the time when (in the proposal episode) Monica had an option to choose between Chandler (her best friend who she never thought she would end up with) and Richard (her first love). What do you do then?

Being from a typical Indian family my parents expect me to get married at the age of 27 and start a family by 29. But what if I don’t find my Chandler by then? Should I settle for arranged marriage and try to find love and happiness in that? Or should I break the stereotype and wait for my true love? Honestly speaking, I dont know what I am going to do. I am not a feminist or the adarsh bharti naari, I am just a simple girl who is scared about what is going to happen.

I have friends who have found their perfect love in arranged marriages and I also have people who have married their college sweethearts but one thing I have realized is that we all are going to find our special someone. Someday. I am not going to cry and feel as if my life has ended after a breakup or just give in to the social pressure. Even if I have never been in a relationship  I am not going to think that I am commitment phobic. Sometimes we find happiness in the most unlikely place. Some people search on Tinder and some at social gatherings. We should not let other people’s judgement and thoughts cloud our decisions. If you want a guy to buy you a drink in a bar, send him signals, smile at him or maybe just go and talk to him. Make it happen. Don’t be scared about what your friends or his friends are going to think about and even if he rejects, BIG DEAL! you at least wont live with a regret. I want to take chances in life, fall in love with as many people I want, I want to learn from every relationship. I want to be brave and believe that there is enough happy for everyone. I know it’s easier said than done but we all need to be fearless when it comes to love. Don’t save up love like you’re trying to retire on it, give it away like you’re made of it.

Keep Looking! 🙂